When I Kissed a Toad

All in the attempt to date me, one gutsy guy pressed through the crowds of acquaintances, into my inner circle and my family. Unfortunately, this first date did not play out as I had imagined. Sadly, my fairy tale dreams of falling in love with a prince were squelched by a toad. Without any further ado, I must share my first failed attempt at dating.

 Walking with my friends, I was careful not to lose my footing on the road of uneven soft clay. I tried my best to avoid the large potholes that always accompanied the heavy rainy season. The last thing I wanted on this first date was to embarrass myself with a face-plant into the mud puddles. I pressed on for another ten minutes with clenched toes gripping my sleek but soggy sandals, and red mud splashing all over the hem of my dress. Despite my nerves and the internal state of doubt, I couldn’t help but notice the surroundings. I saw the tall grass moving gracefully in the cool of night, and marveled at the beauty of the dense jungle. It was a majestic backdrop for a couple’s night out. I could hear the croaking of toads and the multitudes of annoying crickets competing against the parakeets as they nestled in the trees for the evening. And I couldn’t help but gaze up as the brightness of the stars began to take the place of city lights in the streets (power outages). It was a perfect lamp unto our feet guiding us through the uneven, broken path. Walking on, I could almost feel the“capim santo,”translated“holy grass;” beckoning me to grab a bundle for some hot tea later in the evening.

 Suddenly, my friends stopped walking alongside me as my date pulled me away from the group. He dragged me by the hand to the side of an abandoned building. What was happening?! My eyes widened with panic and I looked back at my friends, hoping they would get the signal that I needed rescuing. But, they were smiling and nodding their heads in approval. “Just go! It’s going to be ok!” was their cheerful reply in the native language of Brazil. I could hear their giggles in the background as I faded into the dark with this stranger, someone I had only known briefly. He was not interested in small talk as he had one thing on his mind: making out. His tall figure overshadowed my petite frame as he gripped my narrow shoulders, giving me no room to wiggle my way out. He aimed his lips towards mine and began kissing me and kissing me again, all without my consent. My thoughts went wild. Why are you kissing me? You gave me no warningno chance to give my permission? Why are you slobbering all over my face??? If this is what kissing is all about, then Im outta here.  

 I pulled my head back and marched away. Away from the kissing. Away from that guy. And away from my “supposed” friends who just betrayed me and let me get pulled into this mess. All I wanted was to dive into the safety of the thick woods and trace my way back home…where I could wash my face with soap.

Because of this bad first date, it put me on a quest to find a better way and a safer way to guard my heart body and soul. That was the last time his lips ever touched mine. In fact, it was the last time I kissed any boy until my wedding day.

What’s your story? Have you been kissed by a toad? I would love to hear back from you. Just jot down a few sentences right back at me, thanks.

Your Friend,


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