Let’s address a few of the possible downfalls teens face choosing to play this dating game. Perhaps the examples below are not a part of your child’s journey, but you may know someone who is in the middle of a dating cycle who may need your help. As parents, we need to be aware of the downfalls dating.


Dating without the intent of marriage.

Here’s how this plays out: You are attracted to a boy on a friendship level, but you don’t bring up the romance and long-term commitment because you are way too young. Time goes by and you start sharing way more than conversation and begin acting like a married couple. Mimicking marriage will only lead to doing marriage. If you are talking like husband and wife, sharing your feelings for each other, spending a lot of time alone, as married couples do, it is a no-brainer what could happen next. Eventually, you are pushing extreme limits in the physical realm.

You then convince yourself to go along with this “low-key” casual thing you’re doing because nothing major is going to happen. You believe you have it under control. Wrong. After a few months or more of dating without the intent of marriage, the inevitable happens: one of you begins to pull away. Because long-term was never the goal.  Your feelings of love and attraction are leaving as fast as they entered your heart: guilt, lack of sleep, worry and fear begin to creep in. Something doesn’t feel right, and you know it. Your desire to get out of your dating experience is now expired, and it’s time to move on. One is relieved, and the other is left devastated wallowing in a pool of tears. Friendships can get severed and can even put a rift between the parents or the circle of friends because dating affects more than just the lovebirds. At the end of the day, there is only pain and regret.

As parents, we need to help our young adults talk about their personal motives for dating or a sudden urge to date. Because our kids are all being pressured to date—everyone around them is doing it. And before you say, “well not my child,” please Mom or Dad don’t be fooled into thinking your sweet daughter is not attracted to boys and being tempted to join the club.

I know my (almost) nine-year-old daughter Gisele is very much aware of the fact that she is PRETTY and there are CUTE boys floating around the same planet she’s on—earth. Never too young to start laying out a strong foundation in the lives of our kids when it comes to issues of the heart.

Let’s help them understand dating should be with the intent of marriage. Marriage is the key. If they aren’t ready to get married, then dating could be a downfall. And parents you can give them advice through the lenses of God’s Word. Don’t let your past failures dictate how you advise your daughter. As guardians of their hearts, you can challenge them to live a wholesome life despite your setbacks and failures

Comments 2

  1. Well stated. We as mothers/parents needs to be aware and educate our children on this topic. I would love to hear more of what you write.

    1. Post

      Hey Kristal,

      Thanks so much for your input and interest. I write more in-depth on the topic of dating, boundaries and purity in my newest book, “Kissing Toads, A Christian Girl’s Guide to Dating and Falling in Love”. But will be blogging often on this subject. Its so needed!

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